Smart Girls Who Do Stupid Things


TTMMW: Themes

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The way I keep stuff for this semi-not-at-all-regular column is by starring it in my Google Reader. As the weeks/months go on, things tend to pile up. Related things. Here they are, by particularly similar category.

T-SHIRTS, then, and now:

Other stuff and your new/old iPhone.

Autograph books! They had them in Little House on the Prairie, except when they were in Town.


Dean forever, obviously.

Like Woody Guthrie, or Patti Smith and jam sessions.

Like Anthony Bourdain, or David Letterman

The truth behind Natalie Wood, Denzel Washington might play Thelonious Monk, Ben Affleck’s kids wear his face on their shirts and a GIF wall of many many Oscar winners and losers.

In art, and in life/art.

Whether it’s Playboy, a Mad Men-themed Newsweek, more Helvetica (plus sandwiches) or remembering George Lois. Or a particularly personal plea.

The New York Times and Israel/Palestine, naturally.

People look like those fake oh-so-real characters.

Skylines, seagulls wildin’ and such:


It really is.

Old People Swimming, Young People Swimming

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1. Forget Michael Phelps. Ever since whenever he was hotter than Phelps (answer: always) Ryan Locte has been the main man who does a beautiful backstroke. Also he and Michael are friends who sing along to the same headphone music, so we’re all good, right?!

I want to personally thank Edith Zimmerman at The Hairpin for reminding me of Lochte’s existence (the former competitive swimmer within me only really comes out in full-force during Olympics season), as well as pointing out this video, during which we learn that Ryan has his own sequined green sneakers that say LOCHTE on the bottom of them I buy my suits from you! Now stop playing the “take your marks” noise, it’s making me flinch and almost prepare to dive.

2. So synchronized swimming is pretty different from other swimming, but the Aquadettes do share some skills with me, mainly, being badass and loving the water.

Aquadettes from California is a place. on Vimeo.

“But that’s when I got started on the medical marijuana, and it was the difference between staying alive and killing myself.” Woah. Did not see that coming. You go Margo. She says, “control is a really important part of my life.” I feel that.

I need a pool.

More Water Inspired By Literally Hot Footage

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There are a lot of big volcanoes in the world, and sometimes you need to cool off. Here are some ways in which to facilitate this process totally ineffectually:

(Before displaying this rash of aquariums, it’s important to tell a brief but quality story. Last night, I walked past R. Kelly’s house and his glowing aquarium called to me like the mothership, even though there were no fish in it obvi. But then the blinking camera stationed right outside made me hustle far away. If you’re reading this R., I’m sorry. I just don’t know how you let that one go.)

Jellyfish Art might be serious, but most species of Jellyfish die really quickly. I’m not seeing any indication that this aquarium prevents that, or how much potential longterm replacement jellyfish costs are, so this is less impressive than it should be. Look; he’s totally not into her or the tank because he knows it’s so yesterday, you know.

I want to go to there. It’s probably in Dubai, knowing my luck. Or ATLANTIS.

This seems like a slight waste of a phone booth, especially given that Superman has few options left in this age of cell phones and bluetooth. Still, quite pretty and I’m sure the fish like the complete 360-degrees of stimuli. Also Finding Nemo is a very emotional movie, largely because I don’t understand how they could possibly end the movie with all those fish mere inches away from freedom in the sea but still stuck in plastic bags. Like, ‘cmon. Am I supposed to believe that they break free with the help of some hungry, desperate birds (that thought had never occurred to me until this moment. I am comforted)? Also, most of them came from the pet store. They probably wouldn’t survive a day out there.

Sometimes, water isn’t trapped inside a glass container. Sometimes, it’s a secret underwater river (?!) that you’re not supposed to swim in because of scary gases, so how did these pictures get taken (?!)

When all else fails, become a mermaid.

Liquid/Unliquid Dreams

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GTLK from Andrey Muratov on Vimeo.

Cannot. Get. Enough. Frozen. Stuff.

Aaron Sorkin tells us what he’s learned. No word on whether one of those lessons is to take your clothes off before jumping in the pool, as it’s not the best for your loafers.

I’m so upset he got DQed. Not because he didn’t deserve it, because the rulebook says he did. Mostly because it is totally amazing to be able to a) swim backwards underwater butterfly kick for an entire lap while b) breaking the world record by a second. But because being DQed sucks.

Water: It’s Not Frozen This Time

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Dead Man’s Float [Via]

Girl In Water, 1996, by Lynda Churilla

That Which Sustains Us

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Cohesion! It’s a magical thing. One time, when I was reading National Geographic World Magazine (their magazine for kids now unoriginally called Kids; it taught me how to make crayons and gave me hope I could name my own crayon color one day), there was this really rad feature on cohesion art which was both cool and informative. This video shows us how it works, and speedily too, for those of us who have not much time in which to spend trolling the internet looking at videos about things that will in doubt not better our lives in any tangible fashion.

Water Sculpture from Shinichi Maruyama on Vimeo.

Jason de Caires Taylor creates underwater sculptures that age with the water, and cool stuff grows on them, like coral, which though it looks like a rock, is not, thankyouverymuch. Some of them are incredibly haunting and give me the heebie jeebies, but that’s the point, so it’s all good.

“Hombre en Llamas (Man on Fire).” Depth 9m, Cancun/Isla Mujeres, Mexico.

He’s also helping the environment by creating artificial reefs, like this one off the coast of Delaware made of New York City subway cars. So two for the price of one, though I would not want to scuba dive past these, though I know the point of scuba diving is to see cool weird stuff like this. I also wouldn’t want to dive to see the Titanic, but that’s just me. It would be cold and scary, and I think the pictures are nice and they’ve brought up all the good stuff. This is totally a moot point as I have not gotten my scuba license. One for the bucket list not a New Year’s resolution.

The common thread between each of these works is how momentary they are. They rely on photography and video to show their beauty. Because of the literally fluid nature of water, they need another source to document a moment that existed. So much of art is focused on timelessness; this art isn’t timeless, however, the documentation of pieces of its evolution is. What is the real art — the piece deep below the surface, the water being caught, or the image in both cases being snapped by a photographer? And on that note, who is the real artist?

Water Joy

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Let’s all beat the heat, and call the whole thing off.

Sasha Obama, doing what she does best. Marbella, 8/6/10. Image via Bauer-Griffin.

Also, a great slideshow:
Dancing While Wet: From Singing in the Rain to Step Up 3D [NYMag]

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