Editors’ Note: There were men here for this one. They were pretty shocked with what they had to see.
7:03 pm Kim is wearing a see-thru tuxedo shirt. Do not discuss.
7:05 pm E! has decided to blur out a dog pooping.
Josh thinks Kris'(momager) office looks like Lex Luther’s.
7:09 pm Kris (momager) has a totally different face .
Josh: Re: Bruce “That dude looks like if Dave Coulier was a lesbian. And is Kim glued to that guy’s lap?
7:14 pm Humira is, in fact, for rheumatoid arthritis. Point one for Josh.
Kris (momager) wears so many 80s blazers I would like to see just the 80s blazer portion of her closet.
7:17 pm Kris (caveman) wants dogs in the bed. Little, little dogs. Josh: I like this guy.
Kris (momager) has taught us that plastic surgery is both normal and exciting.
7:24 pm You’ve gotta get out of the bad place and into the fun place.
Kris (caveman) to Kim: Your favorite thing is Hermes, and you new last name is going to start with an H.
Josh: This guy is seven.
7:27 pm Kim’s face doesn’t even fit in the frame because she’s so short and Kris (caveman) is so tall. You’re not meant to be if you can’t even fit together on tv.
(After and extended conversation about who Rob Kardashian is) Josh: Who is that bro in the back? Is that guy their brother? I would hate to be brother’s with this girl.
Rob should get a webseries.
In short succession, we’re sandblasted with really really shocking images. Like Rob’s ass, Kourtney doing her confessional in a Memoirs of a Geisha outfit, and Kris (momager) crying in a Tony Soprano track suit WITHOUT MAKE-UP ON.
7:35 pm Some genius has decided to edit between Kris (momager) having her facelift and the thing she’s lifting her face for (how she’s not as young and hot as her daughters). This is the definition of brilliance.
A conversation between children:
K1: I’m just worried.
K1: Moms, um, surgery.
Khloe and Lamar rep pistachios? As in, the entire concept of the pistachio nut is now irrevocably tied to Khloe and Lamar?
7:41 pm Kris (momager) is totally drugged out and post surgery and the first thing she says is, “Kim, do you have any Binaca?” She DOES have a sense of humor.
Emma: She just air-kissed her mother.
7:43 pm Kris (caveman) compares Kris (momager) to the guy in Men in Black.
MC: I just think this is bad because Kris (caveman) is 7 years younger than Kim.
Josh: No, it’s just because he’s just seven.
7:48 pm Humphries. (Just a reminder that that’s his last name)
7:53 pm ‘I can’t be warned.” Is that like I can’t be tamed?”
MC: I think he’s so cute.
8:06 pm “Mom, your hair is shorter than a vagina’s bush and you talk forever.” UM WHAT.
8:11 pm I like that this prenup convo is going on when it says “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding” in the bottom right.
8:25 pm Rob: I do worry about my body. (CUT TO: DANCING WITH THE STARS PROMO).
Khloe: Robert, a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips.
Rob: Lamar, give me the fruit roll-up.
8:30 pm Khloe is texting Rob how much she hates Kris (momager).
Rob has “That kardashian toosh”
8:33 pm On Rob: “He’s sitting in the pantry…crying and masturbating.”
Aaron: I want a show with only Kris and lamar playing basketball, and I’m going to call it the NBA.
8:39 pm Kourtney: I’m going to turn on the heat at night so you lose a few lbs.
Yup Rob, this is totally better than Khloe and Lamar’s.
My boys…Lamar…Scott…Fat Rob.
“If I’m going to have a six pack by the wedding…you’re not going.”
Kris (caveman): Why does Kim feel like she can show up? I don’t go to her dress fittings.
God he’s real. It’s like he never got past that stage as a small child where you say everything you think because you don’t realize its rude.
8:42 pm Rob to Scott: Dickie boy, you’re not going to tell Kourt if i get a burrito, are you?
Real World problems: Christina Aguilera, or Robin Thicke at your wedding?
Aaron: Where are you now? I’m Kris (caveman) positive.
8:52 pm Stop trying to make “bible” happen, it’s not going to happen.
Kim: I almost just want the wedding to be over so we can enjoy our lives.
Emma: You will never enjoy your life because you’ll never be that satisfied.
“I just don’t think they’re that into me.”
8:58 pm Khloe is wearing a pirate bandana.