Smart Girls Who Do Stupid Things

Sometimes…

And The Kim K Circus Rolls On

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Editors’ Note: This time, with less males.

8:02 pm We’re trying on wedding dresses again.

Kris calls Kris (momager) Granny?
According to Kim, everyone hates Kris first, and then they love him. And according to Kourtney, “Everyone’s in the hating him phase.”

Kim WENT TO MINNESOTA. I didn’t think she knew that place existed. In MN, she says, “We really need to have a talk about the dog memorabilia,” to which Kris (caveman) responds, “Those photos were professionally done.” She then counters by attacking his choice to have family photos by his bed, by saying “do you want to have sex and have those there?” Of course, Kim’s house is full of photos of her so…

8:04 pm Bruce and Kloe get cute. OMG. And according to Kris (momager), you can never be too honest.

8:06 pm “Even the grocery carts in Minnesota are weird,” according to Kim.
Picking up a copy of a magazine that apparently has Kim on the cover, Kris (caveman) remarks, “50 sex moves? I’ve only seen about three.” God I love them in Minnesota.
Stars: They’re just like us! They read magazines about themselves at the grocery store.
I like that Kim is hating on Khloe for not wanting to go to Minnesota when it’s like…hello do I even need to spell it out.

8:11 pm Molly sees the pistachio commercial for the first time and remarks “I can’t believe they’re having him in green.”

8:15 pm Kris (caveman) reminds Kim of bruce. uhoh.
Kris (caveman) wants to stay in Minnesota so “we can just start pumping out babies.” It’s cool that he’s honest about what people do there.
Kim: I think I fell in love with you because you could handle my career. Romantic.
(5 minutes later)
8:20 pm Kim: Definitely the thing O love the most about Kris is that he acts like a big kid. But then it annoys me.
Rob: On our way to Vegas and of course we’re flying commercial (ooooooh crazy hands).

Scott to Kris (caveman): What are you, a baby?

8:29 pm Kris (caveman) and Lamar decide to reenact The Lion King while at a club..

Kris (caveman): This is your world.
Lamar: It’s yours now too.

8:31 pm I WANT MORE OF KRIS’ (MOMAGER) MOM.
It’s Maria Menounos, my favorite fake star.
Kris (momager) says, “There is no way I’m letting Kim change her name.” Molly: Says the Manager, not the Mom.

Commercial break: “I’ve always been passionate about walking,” says Brook Burns.
Kourtney on whether Kim should change her name: “I think it’s a good idea if that’s what she wants to do.” Always the voice of reason.
Lamar at cheer camp is amazing. They almost look like a normal family.

8:43 pm Even Kris (momager) can’t hide the fact that it’s ridiculous that Kim is wearing three dresses to her wedding. Don’t worry, she’ll wear spanx.

8:52 pm Honesty is the best policy, again this episode?
Kourtney: This stickiness has now leaked through the paper towel.
Khloe: I would buy a hump rope.

8:57 pm Kim refers to Minnesota as “Yee-haw Minnesota.” Kris (caveman) responds with, “Nine years ago you sold clothes in a bo-tique in the valley. And now all of a sudden you’re Miss Princess.”

9:00 pm Kris (caveman) says he grew a mustache because he’s “just expressing himself.”

Watching a couple fight over seating is amazing. “You’re switching the Temples?” snaps Kris (caveman) in a tense tone. I am impressed that the editors made it appear in the commercials that they were fighting over a pre-nup.

9:08 pm Why is Rob wearing a sweatshirt at the rehearsal dinner tonight?

9:18 pm Kim is taking fabric from one of her dad’s shirts and is cutting a heart out and is sewing it into where her heart is in the dress.
Her emotional breakdown about her dad is one of the few real moments I’ve seen on this show.

9:27 pm This LivingSocial plug after Kim’s emotional moments is really the crassest juxtaposition this show has done yet.

9:34 pm We haven’t seen them without make-up in such a long time. It’s amazing. As usual, Mason is stealing the show.

BEDAZZLED CROSS What. OMG Tre fab, as Kloe would say.
Kris (caveman) and Bruce are having a heart-to-heart but all I can look at is Kris’ stache. At least everyone else agrees and their is groomsman debate about it.

9:37 pm Say what you want about Kim having an extravagant wedding, she gives her mom earrings.
Maria Menounos with Joe Francis what?!
MJ the nana has a white manicure. Like, to die for.

9:39 pm Kris decides to shave his mustache right before the wedding as his last bit of control.

9:45 pm Mason is stealing the show and Kris (caveman) knows it.

And emerging from the foliage is…

9:55 pm Dina Lohan and Babyface. What. This is surreal.
Brittny Gastineau catches the bouquet.
Molly: Did anyone realize how horribly spelled her first name is.

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