Smart Girls Who Do Stupid Things


Quite A Tableau

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Scene from Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Miss Manners tells us this is the required outfit one wears to go antiquing on a Saturday in Britain.

What To Talk About At Your Thanksgiving Dinner, The Harry Potter Edition

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Though Harry Potter fever is so last week, spending 12 hours in the car (the majority of which seemed to consist of just the state of Pennsylvania) gives a couple girls little to do but discuss the-greatest-series-of-our-time-that-also-defined-a-generation. My slight shame, however, at how much I’ve discussed these books over the past week has been quelled by the fact that it seems the internet has not gotten over the fever either. So here a few topics to keep you going over this holiday weekend in which you might not have much to discuss with those cousins from Arkansas.

For Those Who Care Specifically About Certain Characters
Use this potential holiday gift to begin a heated debate over which character is the best.

Note that this wand only comes in “Harry and Hermione styles.” To quote Emma: “Oh Ron, why is he always shafted?!” Agreed. He is so the necessary comic genius of the books and films. That whole section where they’re in the woods and he’s stormed off out of frustration is so dull because Harry and Hermione are kinda downers when placed together with nothing to do but brood. In fact, I might even go as far as to say that Ron was sick of being the only one who has a sense of humor and the burden was far too much to bear.

For Those Who Enjoy A Little Brief Levity And A Surprisingly Sexy Man
Show them this GIF:
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The actor who plays Xenophilius Lovegood, Luna Lovegood’s father, is none other than Rhys Ifans, aka that naked roommate of Hugh Grant’s from Notting Hill . He looks goood in HP, save for the long white hair that he effeminately but hilariously brushes away from his face.
Big shout-out to another secret hottie of HP 7.5: Careful sleuthing has indicated that the sexy snatcher/Death Eater Scabior who snarls a lot at Hermione is none other than Nick Moran! Who is Nick Moran? A 41-year-old who really looks best with eyeliner and long hair.

For Those Who Desire A Lively Debate About Either The Differences In The Movies vs. The Books OR Gender Roles In Either/Both
Of Ginny Weasley, Chloe over at Feministing says:
All that said, I’m not thrilled with the way you’ve been depicted on screen. I think they make you out to be way less self-reliant and way less gutsy than you are in the book. And I don’t know why they had you tie Harry’s shoes in the sixth movie; it was really out of place. Maybe they meant it as a fellatio metaphor, but let’s be honest: you’re Ginny Weasley. You probably give real blowjobs, not metaphorical ones.”

Zing! Note: May not be suitable for younger children, or supremely conservative older relatives.

Dear Sarah Jessica Parker,

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I’m sorry I judged you so early for Did You Hear About The Morgans? In my defense, the trailer looked horrendous, and Hugh Grant’s face has gotten quite puffy. But truthfully, it was really your extremely awful hair that was clearly real but looked like a wig, that turned me off.

Yet, I added this film to my Netflix queue because it was a Rom Com, and I consider it my duty to watch all those Rom Coms that have made some sort of blip on the radar. Also, the nice tidy way that everything wraps up at the end of a Rom Com is remarkably soothing to my old, old soul.

And this, SJP, this I will admit reluctantly: Your hair was not that bad. I’m not saying you should make yourself ugly in yet another film. You rock the ugly-pretty like there is no tomorrow (see SATC). I’m only saying, this was a little too far in the ugly direction.

Sample Shot #1

I think this picture is deceivingly good. Your hair looks shinier here than it really did in the film. Still, it’s clear that this color is not the best on anyone.

Sample Shot #2

No one looks good with half-wet hair while being accosted by their estranged husband in the rain. But this could be better, still.

I’m sorry I have such high standards for you. That being said, the movie was actually somewhat okay. And who knew that Elizabeth Moss was going to play your secretary? Or that Real Estate agents were that loaded? If you had given me some of that in the trailer, perhaps I would have watched it earlier.

With warm regards,

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