Smart Girls Who Do Stupid Things

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TTMMW: Uncle Leo Was Really Creepy, Wasn’t He?

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This week, we’re going to do a train of thought, connect the dots Thelonious Monk Memorial Weblog. Try to spot the connection between each post! It’s like a game for your brain.

In news about Seinfeld, Uncle Leo (Real name: Len Lesser) died this week. Yo La Tengo does a little Seinfeld too:

When it comes to other Leo’s, Leonardo da Vinci’s lover may have been the model for the Mona Lisa. Since he was a big homo, this makes sense.

If you’d like to look at some art that actually is good, check out this detail work.

Want real real art? These arches take the cake.

Also I love rainbows! Maybe I should have grown up in the 70s when it was okay to walk around in tie-dye. Except the only tie-dye I have ever really loved was that one creamsicle shirt I made myself that always prompted my dad to go out and buy sherbert.

Along the dessert train, tere is an entire website devoted to the care and keeping of Crème brûlée. Flan is better. I made flan this week. Discuss.

In things that you’d think wouldn’t be around anymore but they are, here is a computer playing Jeopardy. The one thing i liked about this show was that it was basically gimmick free. Why’d they have to go make it all new wave?

I will say that I’m not consistently into these videos where people inspire us to love the gays, but this one is actually super cute and it’s about IOWA and proves that it is a state full of lots of different types of people.

Justified if back on the air, but not back on Hulu. Tears of a clown. Still, it’s pretty good. Elmore Leonard’s books really do translate amazingly to the big and small screens; just watch George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez in Out of Sight. Do it. Really.

Roseanne is coming back to TV! “The program, from 3 Ball Productions/Eyeworks USA (The Biggest Loser), will look at Barr’s recent newfound life managing a fully-functional 40-acre macadamia and live stock farm on Hawaii’s Big Island alongside her long-time writer-musician boyfriend Johnny Argent and son Jake.” It’s The Biggest Loser cred that’s got me hooked, not the fully-functional 40-acre-macadamia farm, in case you were wondering.

I love Tootsie. There may have been one afternoon that Jessie and I biked along Lake Michigan, which was exhausting because I was out of shape and I had borrowed KB’s bike which was very rusty and then promptly lost the key somehow which I never do (lose things) and her bike remained locked to our back gate for approximately six months before I paid a very cute, awk young man too much money to saw it off and then she got it all fixed and it was stolen like two weeks later. What gives universe?

Anyway, that one day, we also got amazing sandwiches at Z&H before they were close to campus and were more of a luxury item and then came back to her apartment and ate them while watching this movie. It was perfection, summer-style. Tootsie has some “interesting feminist themes” according to Tony Scott. What doesn’t, Tony. What doesn’t. Also Teri Garr plays another lovable ditz (see Phoebe’s biological mother in Friends).

The Gehry building in downtown Manhattan is actually okay, though I don’t know why they couldn’t have made it seamless and had him design the school below as well.

For architecture that actually tells the test of time, look no further than this book The Complete Architecture of Adler and Sullivan. When I took the AP Art History test in high school, they totally had a Sullivan building on it and you had to identify the architect, but it was a really unfair question, because it was a completely nondescript building. Okay, it might have actually been the Schlesinger and Mayer Department Store, but it was a bad angle and I am certain basically no one got that right. I went on to rock that thing, in case you were wondering and you consider a 4 “rocking.”

Pixar again! Can’t get enough. I would sell my right, non-animating arm for a chance to go back and rewrite my history to be good enough to animate for them. Also, does anyone else have a feeling that Melena Ryzik sticks out like a sore thumb in California? “What’s up Michael Cera?”

Michael Moore is an idiot and is trying to get more money from the Weinstein’s off of Fahrenheit 9/11. While I will say that I did sob silently during that movie, it was definitely due to the footage and not the film. It’s good to know that a dude who made an film entitled Capitalism: A Love Story is asking for an increase in his due profits. America at it’s finest.

Between Two Ferns is back, this time with perfectly paired Tila Tequila and Jennifer Aniston. Dad always said she was the most talented Friends cast member, and despite my soft spot for Ross (and Chandler in the early years) he may be right.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Tila Tequila from Between Two Ferns

Lightening never strikes the same place twice, but it does strike the same general area repeatedly.

This photo from French Photographer Lucien Clergue reminds me of one my dad took of me when I was probably around eight. Though obviously the one of me is a little more SFW.

Been trying to get into Raymond Chandler for some time.

Listen to David Oshinsky discuss his Pulitzer Prize–winning book Polio: An American Story, because Jonas Salk was incredible and I once made a highly realistic looking clay sculpture of him in fourth grade.

Computer Rosie the Riveters are not what you think they are, but are still very very cool, and show us that women can rock it in tech.

Unfortunately, the South Street Seaport Museum, one of the only indications that the South Street Seaport Historic District is an actual neighborhood, has fallen on some hard times.

Dylan performed at the Grammys, which some people liked and some people didn’t. I say, just remember the old days:

Like father, like son: Two interviews with Teddy Thompson and Richard Thompson. The best part of Teddy’s interview is when he says, “I would never like to be compared with Michael Bublé. Ewww.” And here’s a good duet of the two of them:

New Paul Simon is pretty bomb, I’ll say. Stereogum is saying the Vampire Weekend fans will like it, but maybe it’s more historically accurate to say that Paul Simon fans might like Vampire Weekend?

Listen to Jame Blake’s cover of Case Of You, one of the best love songs ever.

This piece on not drinking and dating is actually nice, honest and not total bullshit.

Let’s leave it with James Dean and Brigette Bardot, who said it best when he said “If a man can bridge the gap between life and death, if he can live on after he’s dead, then maybe he was a great man.”

Playboy, July 1964.

The Grammys 2011: Lady Gaga Emerges From The Egg

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7:00 Barbara Streisand is going to be here? Why?
LL Cool J introduces this tribute to Aretha Franklin, because he has won a Grammy, is black, and also on a CBS show. Kate: Wouldn’t it have been awesome is LL hadn’t spelled RESPECT correctly during his intro? A girl can dream. Whatever, the tribute to Aretha is great. I cried.
KB: This is the greatest group of people ever! They include Jennifer Hudson, Martina McBride, Florence without her Machine, Yolanda Adams (who everyone was like “Gigga what?!” but is a Gospel singer, and Christina Aguilera, who appears to be in front of a microphone stand made of anal beads. But it’s all good; this is an amazing medley and why we watch the Grammys. It will all be downhill from here (Note: It mostly was).
KB: They are paying tribute to Aretha with their crazy outfits. Jessie: But no crazy hats.
“Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves!” It would be great if they brought Annie Lennox out right now but they won’t.

I wish I was watching The First Wives Club right now. Aretha comes on in a prerecorded video to thank everyone for “the flowers, beautiful flowers.”

Aretha’s touching moment and a lovely performance was swiftly ruined by this ad: “This Valentine’s Day, why give a diamond when you can give the family jewels?”

7:21 It is literally all downhill from here now. We all plan to now go get drunk by ourselves in separate bars because Train just won for “Hey Soul Sister.” They do seem to show a little self-awareness in their acceptance speeches, thanking “Justin Bieber for not being a duo or group” and some dude at the record label “who gave us another chance.” They are thankfully drowned out by some sort of organ music?

Ricky Martin shows up, wearing the aforementioned silver pants. Jessie: We can all eat our words, they are jeans, Ricky Martin. He pronounces Lady Gaga’s name “Ga Ga.”

It appears this egg is maybe more of a cocoon? She sounds amazing live, as per the usual, and has a lovely set of interpretive dancers.
Jessie: Yea she’s whipping her hair!
She also has some sort of interesting sidestep dance going on? And then serenades us with a little organ interlude, perhaps the theme of the night. Jessie: Guys, Bach is with us at the Grammys. (BTW, Kate is related to him, itsnobigdeal.
Sean: She can come in an egg anytime she wants.

7:33 I just viscerally reacted to Blake what’s his last name, who is married to Miranda Lambert. He says some inappropriate thing that Jessie thinks “means I was inside of her 20 minutes ago. Oh wait they are married!” We then have a conversation about how funny it was when Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton did that at some awards show in the limo on the way there.
Wake me up in 10 minutes, she’s performing. There’s some sort of photo montage in the background we’re mostly unimpressed with, but Jessie points out that “They’re probably Iraq veterans, assholes.”
KB: Because they’re country. Except here’s the thing, I think she’s ugly, and that’s my problem with her.

7:38 Lenny Kravitz looks good. I hope they cut to Nicole Kidman (Note: They did not. How come at every awards show, when Jennifer Aniston is presenting, they show Angelina placidly staring at the stage, but they can’t remind us of those weird days when Nicole and Lenny were a couple?)

7:49 “Music always needs new stars,” Ryan Seacrest tells us. With that, we get B.o.B wearing a monocle! A monocle! My Mom used to joke that I would have to get one because my eyes were such different prescription but they totally evened out so HAH TAKE THAT MOTHER. He drops it off when he sings “ended up with none.” None more the monocle.
And Bruno Mars gets his performance in Black and White. He’s done an old-school rendition of “Grenade” that’s a little pitchy, especially at the end, but super cool. Cyndi Lauper is pleased.

7:59 At least Miranda Lambert thanked the songwriters and kept it short when she won.
“Up next: Justin Bieber and his mentor Usher take the stage.”
I have counted 3 Taylor Swift commercials thus far. Go home Taylor.

8:06 J. Biebz is singing “Baby” but it sounds like he’s singing “Bieber Bieber Bieberrrr.” I totally would buy a conspiracy theory arguing that he’s merely promoting a cultish agenda. The Pinkett-Smith’s are beaming as Jayden joins him on stage, because I guess Jayden redid The Karate Kid and Justin provided vocals.
Sean: This is like Kidz Bop
Jessie: There are not enough ways for you to love me, Usher.

8:14 Muse wins, so Christina is happy, and one of them “would like to give a shoutout to my beautiful pregnant girlfriend over there.” We get it dude: You knocked her up. Congrats.

8:21 This is so awkward that Best Pop Vocal is being introduced by Selena Gomez. KB points out that what if Justin wins? Are they going to make-out? CBS is sure hoping so.

We’ll never know the beginning of what Gaga said because these censors are just being very loose with bleeping, but thank god Justin Bieber didn’t win.

I have a theory that smiling at all times in required in the Pinkett-Smith household. They are always beaming.
Gaga says that when writing this track she “imagined whitney houston was singing this because I wasn’t brave enough.” I want a Whitney response, and ASAP.
CBS interrupts the show with fucking David Letterman doing one of his patented not funny Top 10 lists. This cross promotion is ridiculous.
The Avery Brothers come on, finally giving us something not remotely Top 40. They sing to us, “If youre loved by someone you’re never rejected.”

8:30 We finally get the promised Bob Dylan performance, which of course everyone hates because he doesn’t sounds like he used to, but can I point out that he’s never been the most consistent. He sings “Maggie’s Farm” in some lovely sneakers, with Mumford & Sons, which means that MC’s happy. I like his special harmonica mic. Neil Young stands up and claps at the end, while J. Lo looks bored and pissed. Stars: They never really surprise you.

Ad for the Wisconsin Dells tells us that “after you vacation in the Waterpark Capital of the world, you’ll never look at water the same way again.” I am actually dying to go.

8:43 Lady Antebellum performs “Need You Now” which is a very truthful song about being drunk late at night and missing someone, but that doesn’t make it good.
Miley Cyrus and the Kings of Leon are presenting Best Country Album together. Why not. Kings of Leon then win, and we see them freaking out backstage. It would have been cooler, if a lot meaner, to see them losing.

8:47 Cee-Lo, Gweneth Paltrow, and the Muppets? What could be better? Group consensus is that these are definitely Jim Henson lite, or the poorman’s Muppets, but a little research proves that they are indeed his work.
They just bleeped the puppets singing the N word. That’s a first.
Gweneth does a very convincing “Ooh I really hate your ass right now!” Her shoes are amazing. We get into an argument about how much choice celebrities have when picking out their clothes with a stylist. If The Rachel Zoe Project is anything to go off of, the stylists just do the heavy lifting.
Cee-Lo, who probs didn’t have a stylist for his outfit, looks like a “Cher abominable snowman” according to Jessie.

8:57 Katy Perry performs. One lone hand in the audience keeps reaching out to her, it’s beautiful.
The backdrop is images of KP’s wedding to Russell Brand. KB sceams “Yes!” Katy Perry tells us that “Teenage Dream” “goes out to all the Valentine lovers.” She mimes the line “one touch” scandalously. And then we see Nicole Kidman singing along!
KB asks: Kidman or Paltrow: who rehabbed their image better?
Jessie: Katy’s control is awful. Look how she’s not belting the high notes.

9:02 John Mayer, Norah Jones and Keith Urban performing “Jolene” in honor of Dolly Parton, who received a Lifetime Achievement award tonight. Awesome. John wisely says that he’s “going to stick to the script.” Here’s a not-horrible version of it:

And then that beautiful performance was followed by yet another win for “Need You Now.” Doesn’t anyone notice that this song is awful?

9:12 Kate: Is Eminem wearing a beeper?
KB: Probably because those were popularized the last time he was at the Grammys. Burn.
He said fuck and they didn’t catch it! Take that, censors. I wonder who will literally or figuratively pay for that.
Is that Evanescence with him? Christina says it’s this girl who was in another song with Fort Minor, that band started by that guy in Linkin Park. They’re singing a new song “I Need A Doctor”, and it’s with Dr. Dre. Oh I get it!
Jessie: Dre is Eminem’s Usher to Bieber.

9:21 Shock on the Biebz face when Esperanza Spalding won was crazy. The fact that no one in this category is a new artist seems to bother no one. Immediately after the win, it appears that crazed Bieber fans wreaked havoc to Spalding’s Wikipedia page, which is unfortunate, because she’s incredibly talented.

Bieber Fans Attack Esperanza Spalding’s Wikipedia Page [Gawker]

9:32 It’s time for the people who died this year. Fun as usual.

9:34 KB: Who is wearing a cape? Oh, Mick Jagger, duh.
Jessie: I want a count of how many times his name has been rhymed with Swagger. Off the top of my head it’s 2, but I bet it’s much more.
KB: He is wearing sneakers.
Kate: I wondered about the shoes; they look Nike.

9:45 Kris Kristofferson (who looks remarkably like Jeff Bridges, but maybe that’s because I watched The Big Lebowski today) introduces Barbara Streisand by saying “She’s sweetened our lives…like the music did our life.”
Kate: This is so boring.
Christina: Can we fast-forward please?
Jessie: It’s sad because I was like, wait, can we?
Please note that here have been like two awards.

9:50 Will.i.am introduces the award for Best Rap Album, but seems to not realize that “since the inception of this award” is pretty meaningless as it is only a few years old.
Eminem wins! And is unemotional as usual.
Finally! Beyonce! KB: Why you gotta playa hate. (Note: I have no idea why she said this. The growler was finished awhile before).

Apparently they are BFFLs, according to KB and some People magazine article quoting an anonymous and bullshit source she read like six months ago.

9:58 I like that the song choice that is played as “Puff Daddy” walks up is “I Need A Girl.” His teeth look weird. Debate is had over why he is introduced as Puff Daddy, and it is settled that that’s probably the name he won his Grammys in.
Rihanna and Drake perform in front of a timber pile. Rihanna brings out the Rude Boy dance, thank god. I really wish she and Drake would reconcile as more than just collaborators. I never realized that in “What’s My Name” the exact lyrics are “Say my name, say my name — wear it out.”

10:02 Jenny from the Block has to remind us that she’s married to Marc Anthony. They really make me appreciate couples who are rarely seen together.
“The song otherwise known as ‘Forget You'” is nominated. Someone had a field day with that one.
LADY ANTEBELLUM WINS AGAIN. They are shaking their heads in disbelief. Please shake your heads Lady Antebellum, we at home are as well. BOORRRRRINNGG.
The next episode of Criminal Minds is about a life coach that turns deadly. I may watch this.

10:11 Jason Segel is like “Why am I here introducing Arcade Fire? Oh wait I’m on How I Met Your Mother.

10:20 KB gets very upset about the Chrysler commercial because of their 90 spot during the Super Bowl that was paid for with taxpayer dollars that they have Chrysler has not paid back from the bailout thankyouverymuch.
Barbara and Kris Kristofferson, together at last!
What if Katy Perry won album of the year?! I wonder what Bob Dylan would think/say/emote?
Oh but we never have to worry because Arcade Fire wins for “The Suburbs”, a place that no one who listens to them ever wants to go back to.

That was perhaps the worst display of awards handed out I’ve seen in my young life. To make yourself feel better/worse about what crap it all is, read this Slate article that KB could not stop talking about as we whined about the injustice about it all about, well, the injustice of it all. And stay tuned for a short breakdown of artists that won awards and that we should be excited about.

TTMMW: Spanish Separatists Say Sorry

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This title is totally false, btw.

(Pictures of) Snow (in Black and White)

Fulton Fish Market, New York, 1946, by Harold Roth [Monroe Gallery of Photography]

This guy has a great NPR voice, and found some pretty pictures.

Blizzard of ’96, what what: 11 Biggest Blizzards In New York [Buzzfeed]

And just in case you didn’t get enough, on January 11, 2011, there was snow in 49 of the 50 states. CNN explains that “We’re all feeling a little ‘snowed in’ this winter.” Yuk yuk yuk.

Other Pretty Stuff
1.

“Save or Delete Jungle Book” by banksy

2.

This collection features many industrial design visionaries whose names the public doesn’t know, like Frederick Hurten Rhead who created the highly collectable and often copied Fiesta ware.
Postal Service Honors Americans Who Left A Stamp On Design [NPR]
For other stuff about brilliant designers, read this review of a new book about the Eameses.

3. New York (subways) are a place for beautiful people. Check them out, if you haven’t already been caught staring in real life, like I probably have.

4. This guy is adorable, if paranoid for good reason. When I was growing up, my upstairs neighbors’ climbed to the top of the Brooklyn Bridge before the gates on it were super reinforced. It seemed a lot easier than this.

UNDERCITY from Andrew Wonder on Vimeo.

5. This weeks offerings from Design Milk include edible Jelloware cups, beautiful geometric woven rugs, and really nice woodworked sculptures that do double-duty as furniture.

“News”
1. The Onion‘s fake sports news show Onion Sports Dome debuted on Comedy Central, and they poke excellent fun at the redundancies of sports broadcasting.

2. Spain’s Basque “separatists”, the revolutionary group Eta, declared that they would stop the violence, but explained that they would continue their “indefatigable struggle” for a “truly democratic situation in the Basque Country”. The Spanish government has responded that until they are disbanded, their call for a truce would not be taken seirously. See, not all Basques are bad…or something: Spain’s Basque separatists Eta call ‘permanent truce’ [BBC]

3. If you click on the link, you will see an actual picture of the family and friends of murdered Portuguese journalist Carlos Castro into the New York City subway, as he requested. I totally feel him.

4. A story that hits home for some of us: Mark Wahlberg says he quit smoking weed because of his kids:
“I stopped smoking weed for my kids. One day, we were driving and you could smell it from somewhere. My daughter asked what the smell was so I told her it was a skunk. Then she said, ‘Sometimes Daddy smells like that!’ to me and my wife. So I knew I had quit.”

People Who Do Art
1. Bob Dylan has signed onto a six-book deal with his published Simon & Schuster. One book will be based on his Sirius/XM radio show Theme Time Radio Hour (listen to it! Especially the episode of about “Time”, where he plays “60 Minute Man” by Billy Ward and the Dominoes). On the response to his first book Chronicles: Volume 1 (read it!) he told Jonathan Lethem for Rolling Stone that “The reviews of this book, some of ’em almost made me cry – in a good way. I’d never felt that from a music critic, ever….Most people who write about music, they have no idea what it feels like to play it. But with the book I wrote, I thought, ‘The people who are writing reviews of this book, man, they know what the hell they’re talking about.’ It spoils you.”
“60 Minute Man” — Billy Ward and the Dominoes

2. Report: Etta James suffering from dementia [UPI]

3. Sissy Spacek is going to write a memoir. Also, her daughter is really talented and I would watch I’m Reed Fish, of course on Netflix Instant, for this scene:

4. Joss Stone is kind of a ditz and never wears shoes, but she’s smart sometimes:

A Delayed Thelonious Monk Weblog Post Week 4

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1) Should Dylan stop performing?
The Wall Street Journal thinks so. Just because he’s erratic doesn’t mean he’s any less entertaining. Also then I wouldn’t get a chance to see things like this, and that’s not cool at all:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

2) He always wanted Jack Nicholson to play him in a movie
Jack Nicholson: “I just like getting up sometime between 11 and 1, this is not movie hours unless you’re doing night movies. Play golf. I got a couple of kids in college so I’m on the phone a lot. See my pals. Chase women around. . . Talk to my Congressman.”

3) The Guardian admits to an embarrassing error
Simply Red is a great 70s band that consists of some white boys who play Rhythm and Blues. They also got some real action, even more than originally reported:
“Owing to an editing error, we said that Simply Red singer Mick Hucknall slept with more than 1,000 women in a three-year period during the mid-80s. That was meant to be more than 1,000 a year, based on his estimate of an average of three such encounters a day, as stated elsewhere in our stories (A new flame: Hucknall apology to 1,000 women he bedded, page 19, 3 December; ‘I feel a bit like the antichrist’, page 3, Film & Music).”

4) Pete Sampras gets all of his stuff stolen
This sucks. Kids love shiny stuff. Sampras said, “I’m not one to gloat about trophies, or show them off. I’ve never been like that. I just want them for my kids to see. They didn’t see me play, but I’d like them to see these things. Losing this stuff is like having the history of my tennis life taken away.”

5) This Is Spinal Tap IMDB Rating Goes to 11

Who did this. They are my best friend.

6) Howard Dean is a G
Still.
Howard Dean On Tax Deal: ‘A Short-Term Washington Fix’ Filled With Easy Promises [HuffPo]

In Memoriam: To My Walkman

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The Top 5 Most Listened to Tracks on My Walkman
By Kate, Age 6*

1. Anything off of The Great 28 by Chuck Berry
2. “Subterranean Homesick Blues” — Bob Dylan
3. “Layla” — Derek and the Dominoes
4. “California Girls” — The Beach Boys
5. “Wild Tchoupitoulas – Meet De Boys On De Battlefront” – The Wild Tchoupitoulas

*Editors’ Note: This list is from memory. A number of Disney songs are exempt from it.

Sony retiring cassette Walkman in Japan [Washington Post]

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