Smart Girls Who Do Stupid Things

Sometimes…

Feminism At A Younger Age

Tags: , , ,

KB: A coworker of my dad’s gave me a documentary for girls to comment on when I was 11. She’s on set with him today observing today and brought the below. He took a photo and sent to me and my mom. Prepare to make fun of me forever. Also, I was not good at grammar then.

Kate: AMAZING. Caps necessary and intended.

Amulya: AHAHAHAHAH. Dying. I love how your whole review is just suggestions for what things they SHOULD have added. Esp. your invention of the proverb “you can do anything if your heart LEADS YOU TO IT”, aka hopefully you get lucky and your heart decides to lead you in the right direction, bitch.

Also wow how did you end up basically illiterate at age 11?

KB: I was NOT illiterate. RUDE!

Long-form writing was not a strength apparently. 11 year olds write in lists. Or at least I did when 11.

It was a review. I was very a critical thinker from a young age.

KB: But in seriousness, I was terrible at using transitions until high school. I struggled with them in a big way in middle school.

Amulya: Also please tell me the violent scrawl at the bottom is your signature

KB: It can’t be.

I do appreciate that the core principles I still agree with.

An Open Letter to Jennifer Aniston

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,


Dear Jennifer Aniston,

I was at the gym the other day when I saw a commercial for your new movie, Just Go With It. The commercial concluded with an overweight woman reacting to Brooklyn Decker getting out of the ocean by turning to you, JenAn, and saying something along the lines of, “It’s women like her who make you and I uncomfortable wearing bathing suits.” I’m sorry, but no.

I know your very famous husband very famously dumped you for a very famous beautiful person. I’d have self-esteem issues too if that happened to me. But I promise — you’re gorgeous.

All you have to do is look at the billboard for this same movie where you are rocking a very sexy dress. I’d kill for your body. And as MC said, your hair is the perfect honey blonde. Rock it girl.

And the best way to rock it is to not make a movie where the central conceit is not based around you being uglier than this other girl.

I’ve been a fan of yours since Friends and I’ve seen most, if not all, of your terrible movies. So this is an intervention. Make crappy movies (I don’t care – I love them all the same), but don’t make movies where the plot is formed around you not being as hot as Brooklyn Decker. It just pisses off your fans. And does a disservice to you and your hotness.

Much Love,
KB

PS: Office Space is an underrated film. I really think it’s your best work.

Editor’s Note: I have been unable to find the spot that KB refers to on the internet (if you come across it, let me know!). Please instead subsidize your viewing pleasure this Super Bowl teaser trailer. Note the repeated footage of Brooklyn Decker rising from the water, and the end tagline “Tell your girlfriend it’s a romantic comedy.” Charming.

2010 Celebrity Break-Ups: The Richter Scale

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

As 2010 draws to a close, there are many things that it could be remembered for — the year of the Red Tide, of Wikileaks, of LiLo going to jail, of Glee (was that this year?). Inspired by today’s announcement of Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds separation and yesterday’s of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens break-up, I’ve decided to nickname 2010 “The year of the celebrity break up.”

Famous people – for reasons too numerous to enumerate – seem to get married and divorced at rates higher than the national average. But this year seemed particularly devastating for celebrity couples. And for reasons too embarrassing and numerous to enumerate, I take each break up as a personal blow.

Below are a few break ups from 2010 with a rating as to how upsetting I found said break-up. 1 is a break up I saw a mile away, 10 made me cry into my pillow.

Scarlett Johansson & Ryan Reynolds – 3

I never really believed they were married. There’s all of one photo of them on the internet together. I respect they wanted to keep their relationship private, but it’s hard to be invested in a relationship you know nothing about. And again – privacy and everything, but by not showing up at each other’s events, they also weren’t supporting each other in their endeavors.

Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens – 5

This was always going to happen sooner rather than later. He wants a serious career and is talented. She doesn’t work that much (let’s leave it at that). Yes, they were gorgeous together. Yes, they probably had great sex and lots of it. Their relationship made sense in the HSM days, but more and more as Zac seemed to wanted to graduate out of that phase, it was clear their love wasn’t forever.

Eva Longoria & Tony Parker – 3

There were always rumors of him cheating on her. And as Kate always points out, the sportstar/actress marriage is a difficult one. Plus, she’s a bit older, and always struck me as more interesting than he is – or maybe more interesting than his teammate’s wives. I’m very sorry for Eva, but honey, you can do better.

Editor’s Note: In college, a sort-of friend’s Dad was an orthopedic surgeon, and Tony Parker’s Grandma was his patient. He reported that Nana was none too pleased with Eva, calling her “too old” and “a slut.”

Blake Lively & Penn Badgley – 7

Like Zac and Vanessa, these two are young enough I didn’t necessarily expect them to stay together forever, and yet…..There were all those photos this summer of them making out and holding hands. They are both still on Gossip Girl and always look so cute together on set. Plus, I can’t separate them from their Gossip Girl characters who are CLEARLY meant to be together, AND always wind up together.

Kate Winslet & Sam Mendes – 9

This one still floors me. They were married for long enough to make me feel secure and stable in their coupling. They were collaborators. They lived in London and New York, somewhat away from the stress of the paparazzi. They have kids. I just…I don’t know what happened here.

Patricia Arquette & Thomas Jane – 8

Maybe it’s because I think of them as how the Go Fug girls depict them, but they just seemed so in sync. They are both obviously nuts (and by obviously I mean the way they dress and carry themselves) and nuts in a similar way. He seems a little off in a kooky way and she has an intensity that reminds me of the crazy old lady next door. I thought they were kindred souls, two free-spirits in a town that otherwise puts a lot of value on polish.

Courtney Cox-Arquette & David Arquette – 6

Yes, their marriage was always a little surprising, but they’d made it this far. They have a cute kid. He seemed okay with JenAn as the third wheel in their marriage and life. This one makes me sad because I’ll always remember the credits of the Friends episode after they got married where they added Arquette to everyone’s name.

Bristol Palin & Levi Johnston – 1

I mean, yeah. Was anyone surprised by this one?

Editor’s Note: I was! I thought their love knew no bounds. Except that they looked weirdly related…

Al Gore & Tipper Gore – 10

Kate and I both find this one too painful to talk about.

Be warned: If Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner ever call it quits, I’m quitting celebrity culture.

Romance Novels Through The Eyes of A Cynic

Tags: , , , , , ,

Editors’ Note — When I received this post from KB, it was headed with the following statement: “Rough draft for smart girls, it turned out very personal so I’m skeptical about posting it, but you can read it and tell me what you think about my crazy.” Readers, you have been WARNED.

Kate recently shared with me one of the most quintessential “smart girls stupid things” – a series of romance novels: the Bride Quartet. The Bride Quartet is a series of four books written by esteemed romantic novelist (and New York Times Best Selling Author) Nora Roberts. The Quartet centers around four best friends each finding the love of their life (and each in their own book). Disclaimer: at this time, I’ve only read 2 of the four books.

In both books one partner in the relationship abstains from saying “I love you” even after the other partner has said those three important words. Later, there is an epiphany, the abstaining partner proclaims their love, and then (this is important!) in the same scene, the couple becomes engaged. To be married.

The book then ends. This particular series is especially romantic (my lovely officemate refers to these books as my bodice-ripping novels, but these books are quite tame and mushy-gooshy), and so I find myself left with envy and that contentment one can only feel after reading or viewing a satisfying ending to a romantic movie or book. I compare the characters to myself; is that the type of guy I should be looking for? Does that character’s neuroses and charms match my own?

But some time after it occurred to me — would I really want that? How long were they dating? They got engaged right after saying I love you? Isn’t that too soon? There’s a scene in the first Sex and the City movie, where Miranda and Samantha tease Carrie for having dated Big for 10 years. To me that always seemed like the right idea — date for a while, live together for years, then when you’ve really tested out the relationship, get married.

But Nora Roberts never writes books like that. Her characters never date for a year before living together and then live together for 3 more before an engagement. And if Nora doesn’t write about it, then it can’t be romantic, can it?

Now granted, I have enough neuroses to be a character in a Nora Roberts novel — but I’m seriously concerned by this. Can romance – falling deep and fast in love – coexist with practicality and precaution? In this particular series, these women are supposed to be modern, sophisticated, 21st century women. But they fall in love and get engaged without ever living with their partner before that. To me, Nora’s formula seems kind of archaic and anachronistic.

It’s a fairytale. I knew that when I started reading it. It’s no different than Cinderella or a Nicholas Sparks movie. I just wish this fairy tale was a little more modern – and addressed the un-romantic problems of relationships like joint checking accounts, buying groceries, deciding whose family to see for the holidays, and taking out the trash. When I finished the book I felt full of romance and hope. Now, a few hours later, I feel depressed and even more skeptical that I’ll ever find someone that I love passionately and am practically compatible with. And yet, I know I’ll read the other two books in this series and many more by the same author.

Ain’t that some shit?

© 2009 Smart Girls Who Do Stupid Things. All Rights Reserved.

This blog is powered by Wordpress and Magatheme by Bryan Helmig.