Let’s ignore the pressing questions like when did Avril break up with Brody, and didn’t they have each other’s names tattooed on each other: What songs are these two amazing talents, both of whom defined different parts of my young musical development (Chad Kroeger of Nickelback during the seminal late elementary school years and Avril Lavinge during the later middle to high school realm), best suited to perform at their upcoming wedding?
This one might not be the obvious choice, but it’s a fun party jam and considering how many people Nickelback got to participate in the video, wouldn’t it make sense that all those people would be invited to the wedding and could reenact it?
2. “How You Remind Me”
This might be an awkward song to play at a wedding because it’s got angry chords and is sort-of about a break-up. But then it’s also really honest. And arguably Nickelback’s most famous song. So playing it would avoid the awkward inevitable realization for Chad that all his friends don’t actually listen to his music, which would really bring down the celebratory mood of the day.
“How the hell’d we wind up like this?/Why weren’t we able/ To see the signs that we missed/Try and turn the tables?/I wish you’d unclench your fists/And unpack your suitcase/Lately there’s been too much of this/But don’t think it’s too late/Nothing’s wrong just as long as you know that someday I will/Someday, somehow/I’m gonna make it alright but not right now”…etc etc. Yeah so that’s an optimistic one but maybe not good for a wedding because hopefully the day that you are making it right already happened and that’s why you’re pledging forever together.
4. “If Today Was Your Last Day”
This is inspiring, but death is never fun and any kind of reference to living one’s life to the fullest might make a new bride go running for the hills to go, ya know, live her life to the fullest with some other dude.
Oh man this one is sad too. And maybe not about love but about a dead friend?
“Why’d ya always have to go and make life so complicated, honey?” Not an ideal way to start the rest of your life with someone. Just because it’s your biggest hit doesn’t mean it has to be on the set list! Veto.
Save this one for the honeymoon. You’ll thank me Chad (*Wink*).
3. “Sk8er Boi”
This is could be the story of your relationship! Because you know, she’s probably backstage at your shows Chad. So that could be cute. The story might distract, but also get Too Real if you invite that girl and her now husband to the wedding but they have to leave early because the baby is home with the sitter. But then they’d miss this song so that’d be fine then.
4. “Girlfriend” feat. Lil Mama
What if Chad and Avril did this one as a duet with Chad taking the Lil Mama rap part? That could be cute. It also might propel Lil Mama into her rightful comeback.
5. “My Happy Ending”
In this song, Avril rhymes dead with dead. I just can’t get over that.
So what have we learned? Unless they have a particularly dramatic and unhealthy relationship — not something I’d wish upon them! — Chad and Avril’s music is defintely going to suffer during this marriage because they only write about depressing things. Sorry guys. Life’s like this.