Smart Girls Who Do Stupid Things


The Kim K Show: Fairytales DO Come True

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Editors’ Note: There were men here for this one. They were pretty shocked with what they had to see.

7:03 pm Kim is wearing a see-thru tuxedo shirt. Do not discuss.

7:05 pm E! has decided to blur out a dog pooping.

Josh thinks Kris'(momager) office looks like Lex Luther’s.

7:09 pm Kris (momager) has a totally different face .
Josh: Re: Bruce “That dude looks like if Dave Coulier was a lesbian. And is Kim glued to that guy’s lap?

7:14 pm Humira is, in fact, for rheumatoid arthritis. Point one for Josh.
Kris (momager) wears so many 80s blazers I would like to see just the 80s blazer portion of her closet.

7:17 pm Kris (caveman) wants dogs in the bed. Little, little dogs. Josh: I like this guy.
Kris (momager) has taught us that plastic surgery is both normal and exciting.

7:24 pm You’ve gotta get out of the bad place and into the fun place.
Kris (caveman) to Kim: Your favorite thing is Hermes, and you new last name is going to start with an H.
Josh: This guy is seven.

7:27 pm Kim’s face doesn’t even fit in the frame because she’s so short and Kris (caveman) is so tall. You’re not meant to be if you can’t even fit together on tv.

(After and extended conversation about who Rob Kardashian is) Josh: Who is that bro in the back? Is that guy their brother? I would hate to be brother’s with this girl.
Rob should get a webseries.
In short succession, we’re sandblasted with really really shocking images. Like Rob’s ass, Kourtney doing her confessional in a Memoirs of a Geisha outfit, and Kris (momager) crying in a Tony Soprano track suit WITHOUT MAKE-UP ON.

7:35 pm Some genius has decided to edit between Kris (momager) having her facelift and the thing she’s lifting her face for (how she’s not as young and hot as her daughters). This is the definition of brilliance.
A conversation between children:
K1: I’m just worried.
K2: Why.
K1: Moms, um, surgery.

7:37 pm Commercial for Tower Heist THE MONEY’S IN THE POOL.

Khloe and Lamar rep pistachios? As in, the entire concept of the pistachio nut is now irrevocably tied to Khloe and Lamar?

7:41 pm Kris (momager) is totally drugged out and post surgery and the first thing she says is, “Kim, do you have any Binaca?” She DOES have a sense of humor.
Emma: She just air-kissed her mother.

7:43 pm Kris (caveman) compares Kris (momager) to the guy in Men in Black.

MC: I just think this is bad because Kris (caveman) is 7 years younger than Kim.
Josh: No, it’s just because he’s just seven.

7:48 pm Humphries. (Just a reminder that that’s his last name)

7:53 pm ‘I can’t be warned.” Is that like I can’t be tamed?”
MC: I think he’s so cute.

8:06 pm “Mom, your hair is shorter than a vagina’s bush and you talk forever.” UM WHAT.

8:11 pm I like that this prenup convo is going on when it says “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding” in the bottom right.

8:25 pm Rob: I do worry about my body. (CUT TO: DANCING WITH THE STARS PROMO).
Khloe: Robert, a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips.
Rob: Lamar, give me the fruit roll-up.

8:30 pm Khloe is texting Rob how much she hates Kris (momager).

Rob has “That kardashian toosh”

8:33 pm On Rob: “He’s sitting in the pantry…crying and masturbating.”

Aaron: I want a show with only Kris and lamar playing basketball, and I’m going to call it the NBA.

8:39 pm Kourtney: I’m going to turn on the heat at night so you lose a few lbs.
Yup Rob, this is totally better than Khloe and Lamar’s.
My boys…Lamar…Scott…Fat Rob.
“If I’m going to have a six pack by the wedding…you’re not going.”

Kris (caveman): Why does Kim feel like she can show up? I don’t go to her dress fittings.
God he’s real. It’s like he never got past that stage as a small child where you say everything you think because you don’t realize its rude.

8:42 pm Rob to Scott: Dickie boy, you’re not going to tell Kourt if i get a burrito, are you?

Real World problems: Christina Aguilera, or Robin Thicke at your wedding?

Aaron: Where are you now? I’m Kris (caveman) positive.

8:52 pm Stop trying to make “bible” happen, it’s not going to happen.

Kim: I almost just want the wedding to be over so we can enjoy our lives.
Emma: You will never enjoy your life because you’ll never be that satisfied.

“I just don’t think they’re that into me.”

8:58 pm Khloe is wearing a pirate bandana.

I 

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When we were cleaning out my house in the spring, I made my mother let me keep my Macintosh SE. It was the first computer that was ever mine, just mine; my dad found it on the street and fixed it up when I was around 11. It didn’t have no internet, was in black and white, but still rocked Microsoft Word, took floppy disks, and included KidPix, the only program anyone really needs.

On Ebay, this computer runs for around $200 now, which just goes to show that something that is totally outdated still packs somewhat of a punch, even on nostalgia factor. At one point, I think we had 6 or 7 computers in my house, all Macs, because Windows was not allowed. We didn’t use them all, but they all worked, just sitting around that my dad had found and fixed up. You know, just in case. He subscribed to the real magazine of Macworld, and would actually read it, not skim it, as I recall. I don’t remember what exactly was in those articles, only that there was a diehard fan in our mix.

People make a lot of arguments about Apple now; how it’s a cult, how they charge too much, how their stock prices will drop now that Steve Jobs is no longer alive to helm it and guide the vision. But the one thing that Apple taught me from a very young age was that visuals matter. Everything they made looked good. Maybe the later years have looked better than the early ones, but design does matter, and that’s something that Microsoft has never believed in. They haven’t understood that it takes me twice as long to do things on their products, and that I enjoy doing them half as much.

Looking good isn’t a crime. And thanks Steve Jobs, for making me feel okay about that. You made industrial design cool, and you’ve made my life better for it.

A Snippet

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“As bummed as I am that I’m not alone today”

This isn’t a complete sentence, but is all you need to know about Rodger aka the better half of Rachel Zoe and Rodger Berman, who have the best marriage around, just ask anyone.

Emotions And Bumperstickers

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Happy October 3rd

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The Toughest Decision You Will Ever Make

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There’s this new website. You might not want to go to it. (Courtesy of Alex, who knows how to make my brain hurt.)

Journalistic Integrity

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So there’s this new site called Hello Giggles for ladies, and it was co-founded by Zooey Deschanel, everyone’s boyfriends favorite pretend girlfriend. And it’s alright. Like, I skim over it in my Reader alright, and one of these days, let’s be real, I’ll unsubscribe when I’m feeling purgy.

You might also know that Zooey Deschanel is in this new show on FOX called New Girl. As in, new to you, new to us, new new new and exciting. And it’s funny. I dig it. She’s sort of endearing, and not annoying in a everybody’s boyfriend wants you to be their girlfriend kind of way.

But Hello Giggles has sort of brilliantly, sort of super obviously, this is annoying you must know I notice this right? set up a situation in that they both recap New Girl and also include sponsored ads for the show posing as articles.

Now, let’s say the rest of the website is not just one big secret drug front pushing Zooey Deschanel down our throats. Let’s say it’s really trying to be the “entertainment destination for smart, independent and creative females.” Let’s say they earnestly mean it when they say that “everything hosted on the site will be lady-friendly, so visitors need not worry about finding the standard Boys Club content that makes many entertainment sites unappealing to so many of us.” Why post ridiculously long, ridiculously detailed recaps of a show starring one of your founders, alongside ads for said show, alongside ads posing as how-to articles on how to get the hair of the lead character of the show? Are the content creators of Hello Giggles aware of how unsubtle they’re being as to not feel a need to put out a disclaimer? Is the excess making the transparency unnecessary?

And let’s get past the idea of episode recaps as a somewhat derivative form of writing about television, an “art” form that’s only good if it actually delivers new knowledge about the direction and meaning of the show, instead of a way to just catch up if you missed it or rant with others if you’re obsessed, something that’s really ultimately as a tool for the website to get more hits in search traffic or whatever. These are literally just recaps. No more, no less.

It may be a comedy, but I’m going to give New Girl more props than Hello Giggles even thinks it’s giving the show with its excessive and untransparent/overlytransparent coverage. I’ll give Zooey more props too. It’s not as if I think she’s standing over her minions in the Hello Giggles office saying “WRITE ABOUT ME!”, looking like Alice after she’s eaten the bad big cookie.

I say, look guys. I see that there are lots of people sucking up your content, and that in the comments below your sponsored post about how to get Zooey’s New Girl hair, lots of non-New Girls wrote things like “Thank you!!” because they were so pleased they can feel a little closer to this person they like.

But I really say, tone it down. You’re acting a little too much like Jess (see below). And even I can’t believe that you’re trying to be that meta.

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