Smart Girls Who Do Stupid Things

Sometimes…

A Breakdown Of Mariah Carey’s Pregnancy Announcement

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0:03 “The media…scrutiny…over your…pregnancy…has been…relentless” says Billy Bush, as if he is not the media scrutinizing.

0:35 Mariah chooses to draw out this announcement in this long and exclusive video, instead of just releasing a statement, even though, “It’s been tough because I’ve been trying to hold onto a shred of privacy.”
“Finding that perfect comfortable spot in Mariah’s new York apartment was not easy, due to her already expanding tummy.”
A) Don’t say tummy. She has an growing fetus in her uterus. Let’s use our big words.
B) It was difficult to find a comfortable spot not because she’s pregnant, but because she’s Mariah.

1:30 That evil media monster and the addition of her new Christmas album (out next week!) “forced” Mariah to come out with the news. Also that Thandie Newton dropped the ball on The View yesterday.
Nick doesn’t join until halfway through the interview because, as he knows, it’s not really his baby. And his facial hair is disgusting.

2:00 “This is the sad part of the story. The media’s obsessive speculation that Mariah was pregnant began two years ago, following Mariah and Nick’s secret wedding.”
Was it really a secret?
Nick ends discussing how impressed he was with Mariah’s emotional strength during her miscarriage last year. Mariah nods in agreement.

What we have learned:
The media is evil for wanting to know about Mariah’s pregnancy.
She’s having a baby “sometime in the Spring.”
Billy Bush is really, we swear, the first person to be told this news.

Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon: ‘We Are Pregnant!’ [Access Hollywood]

This Would Be Better If Dizzee Rascal Had Been There

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But it’s still rad. Unfortunately, some people don’t think so:

[Popeater]

HATER.

When A Door Is Closed There’s Some Window Open Somewhere

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Edith Zimmerman has left NYMag’s Vulture. Which makes me super sad, because she’s the jam. BUT she’s now blogging over at The Hairpin, which is a brand-new and awesome subdivision of The Awl. You know they’re legit because my homeboy David Carr just did a piece on them and how they won’t be going out of business! And boy do they have the best (weekly?) feature ever, entitled Letters to the Editors of Women’s Magazines

An excerpt: R.I.P Diane
An Issue So Big It Hurts!
I bought your September issue in preparation for a 14-hour road trip. In my hotel room, I dropped the issue on my foot. The magazine was so big, it broke my toe! You weren’t kidding when you said it was your biggest issue in 20 years! Keep up the good work.

Jillian K., Yardley, PA (Glamour, November 2010)

I thought you were joking about the magazine being the biggest in 20 years, so as a prank I put it on top of the door and asked my friend to come into the room. Without going into too much detail, I guess I’ll just say that both my friend and I learned you were not joking. I just sort of quietly walked out — it wasn’t my house. R.I.P. Diane.

Lindsay P., Gary, IN”

It’s like comments + ladymags = winning combination.

You Just Got Served By Your History Professor (Twice)

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It’s so interesting to me that people actually use Yahoo! Answers seriously, when there is Wikipedia, which is literally called “The Free Encyclopedia.”

These Guys Know A Lot About Meat

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Jersey butchers warn against wearing a Lady Gaga meat dress for Halloween

Leave it to the professionals this Halloween.
(Also the woman’s voice in this video — Lisa Rose of The Star Ledger — is astoundingly drugged out).

Update: A Sexy Firefighter Was Injured

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Let’s hope he’s alright. Alicia’s apparently not worried. Local news gets the best interviews.

Sucks to be this building.

UPDATE: The Chicago Maroon has indeed weighed in, complete with some excellent student quotes, as per usual:
“It was a spectacular blaze,” said third-year Kyle Shymanik, who saw the fire from his fraternity, Alpha Delta Phi, a few buildings south of MathStat.
“It was brutal,” Gwen Webb said of the fire.
“I don’t want this building to burn down,” Armstrong joked. “Burn down Pierce or something.”

And Avi Schwab has some sick photos of the fire, if you’re really a pyromaniac like I apparently am.

I Die.

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“Don’t be pissed off I’m an actor, It’s not over…”

BREAKING NEWS: The Roof Is On Fire

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The Math/Stat building on the University of Chicago campus (on University, between 57th and 58th on the east side) is on serious fire. Here’s hoping that a) everyone is ok and b) the very important Center for Gender Studies next door does not burn down either.

Though none of the awesome IT services webcams caught it, there are apparently about nine fire trucks, and so much smoke and water that people are definitely coughing. From my official point of view, they’ve been doing construction on this building for at least a year, it’s pretty old, and it’s been very windy today (though this has not been the worst storm in 70 years), all of which makes for a pretty poor combo. Check out videos here:
IMG_0128 (Mostly Smoke)
and here: IMG_0129(Actual flames)
of LIVE footage of the flames (from a safe distance of course). Note the following dialogue in the second video:

Alicia: “Woooof…Did I just say woof?”
Other Dude: You did just say woof.

For those feeling humorous:

We’ll have more updates when the all-informative Chicago Maroon gets its act together.

Additional reporting by Alex and Alicia

Willow “Whip My Hair” Smith And Justin Bieber Dougie

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Thank god for Willow, she’s clearly teaching the Biebz a thing or two, though I wish this video was better quality. I also wish that Justin Bieber danced more like this during his regular performances so as to add fuel to the fire of the rumor that he is actually related to Usher. Haven’t heard that rumor? Maybe it’s because I just started it.

Mad Men For Kids: “a bridge over the river Why”

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Really more for adults who want to be kids. Tomorrow, Mr. Men and Mad Men team up for the launch of their new book, Mr Sterling Gets Angry.

“People are saying to us all the time, ‘Why do this?” says AMC executive Tony Tolberg. “Well, I’ll tell you why. Harry Potter showed the world that books could bridge the gap between children and adults. Mad Men Mr. Men stretches that gap even wider and builds a larger bridge – a bridge over the river Why.”

Mad Men Mr. Men [thepoke.co.uk]

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