Smart Girls Who Do Stupid Things

Sometimes…

These Characters Sound Like They Went To UChicago

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I mean that so lovingly, I swear.

“Amanda: I’m fat! My husband didn’t love me! My parents didn’t love me! I suck in bed! The only person who loves me is my wacky redheaded best friend, Jillian! There’s no way Simon wants me!

Simon: I’m really hot, and I seem to be a borderline case of Asperger’s syndrome! Asperger’s is SO HOT! Plus it sounds like Assburgers when you say it out loud! And women are scared by my giant penis! Also, women don’t like it when I act like a crazy recluse or when I walk away from them mid-sentence so I can run tests in my lab! There’s no way Amanda wants me!”

The Real Deal by Lucy Monroe [Smart Bitches Trashy Books]

Update:
From The Huffington Post, in college-related “news”, If Rappers Were Colleges: Analogies You WON’T Find on the SAT

And he’s from Chicago! It’s perfect!

Forever Young

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It seems that there aren’t enough upper-middle class people drinking Evian, because over the past year, the company has slowly been developing an ad campaign, most of which I’ve sadly missed. SO. Let’s recap it, and see a little history of what happens when you put a few creatives in a room who stop being polite, and start getting weird.

PART I: In Which Babies Do More Than Crawl And Drool
July 2009
The “Roller Babies” campaign begins:

Evian water makes you younger! So young, you’re going to strap on your timeless roller skates and rock out to a cover of “Rapper’s Delight” by some dude named Dan The Automator. I cannot believe I missed this a year ago…what I was doing was clearly not as important as being forever changed by this ad campaign. Please, do yourself a favor, and watch this video.

PART II: In Which One Is Told To Release The Baby One Is Internally (But It’ll Only Happen If You Drink Evian, Duh!)
March 2010
The Evian “Baby Inside” campaign is revealed, featuring dudes like this:

Oh hey! I’m so young on the inside, but on the outside, I’ve been growing this hair for too many years and none of my friends have the balls to tell me to cut it.

Part III: In Which Get Celebrities Demonstrate That They Don’t Just Care About Outer Beauty; They Care About Inner Health
August 2010
Tennis hottie Maria Sharapova dons a “Baby on the Inside” t-shirt. For a fashion show.

She’s also in one of their ads. Maria says, “The idea of youth as a state of mind caught my attention. I took a great pleasure in revealing my ‘baby inside.’ I am a true Evian drinker and I really like this campaign as well as the idea behind it so it felt quite natural to join in.”

I just want to know whose babies these are. And maybe where they are, so I can get some lessons on how to rollerskate like them. The young always do it better, you know.

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